merrrrrr
6:22 p.m. on 13 January 2004
I'm sick of this. All of it. I'm sick of trying to be happy, and denying it when I'm not until it all comes boiling over into a great puddle of acid and salt water. I'm tired of pretending to not hate my past, and I'm tired of denying it too. I'm tired of people not trusting me. DO I HAVE A SIGN ON THAT SAYS "I'LL TELL EVERYBODY EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AS SOON AS I GET THE CHANCE"? I won't! I keep things confidential(sp?) because I have secrets too. And things that other people know, and I know how it would feel if people told. It would be worse than if everyone found out ************************ is bi/curious. Or that ******************** does drugs. Or that ********************* blah blah blah blah blah. AND I KNOW THAT IT WOULD HURT YOU IF THEY FOUND OUT! THATS WHY I WOULD'NT EVER TELL!So now, I can't meet someones other friends because I know things about them and they have about 1/64 and ounce of trust in me. Even though I trust them completely to keep what I told them a secret. They havn't betrayed me and I won't to them.
How dare you people treat me like a fucking FIVE YEAR OLD!
How dare you think I'm to stupid to understand things.
How dare you think that I'm just the side kick, and standin for when one of your group is missing.
wish you well
